I guess this is a hello from me. Welcome to my journey through the ‘unknown’, or in other words – ‘I do not know what the heck I am doing anymore please help.’ I am sure like quite a few people out there, at the moment, I am feeling so lost and like I am floating (especially if you have just left College/Sixth Form and all your friends have gone to uni and you have not). Like a fluffy cloud in the sky. Right now, all’s I am thinking is how good it would be to be a cloud. No thoughts, no worries, you would just float and that is it. Just a big ball of water vapour… and probably other things that I probably would know about if I listened in High School Geography.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I worry… a lot… about almost everything like probably a lot of people. Ever since leaving Sixth Form I feel like I have lost myself, I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I have gone from having such a clear path in front of me the whole way through my education to leaving Sixth Form with no clue or idea what the future holds and that scares me. It scares me more than I would like to admit. I know some of you are probably thinking ‘why does it matter so much’ and you are right, it probably does not or should not matter so much. But when you feel like everyone else around you knows what they are doing and you are just there, existing, it makes everything that little bit harder.

After leaving Sixth Form I did not want to go to University, my A-Level results were not great at all (due to not revising) and I did not feel like I was ready. I did not know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go so I felt that it was best to take a year out and see how things go. So, that is what I did. I took a year out, I worked a few jobs. My friends are now in their second year of University and I have decided you know what, f*ck it, I am going to Uni. I am going to put all my eggs in one basket and I am going to go to Uni, what is the worst thing that can happen? Probably that I won’t like it and can then change and let’s be honest, it is not the end of the world as we know it. Is it?

Am I glad that I did took a year out? I would say on the whole, I am. I am glad I took a year out. It has given me time to see what I really want to do, whether Uni is really something that I wanted or if work was. Whilst on my year out I worked quite a few jobs within the NHS and I decided from there, you know what, I would like to be a Nurse. Now, this is something I would not have decided if it was not for my year out as I would not have seen in such depth what a Nurse does. If I had gone straight to uni I would not have put much thought into it, I probably would have ended up doing something I did not enjoy and then it would have been a waste of three years. On the other hand, I might have loved what I did but there is no use saying ‘what if’ now is there?

Another thought that has briefly crossed my mind is that I will be behind everyone. My friends will be finished at uni and I will still be there. Guess what? It does not matter because everyone does life at their own pace, if this means I graduate after them then so be it. Everyone is on a different journey and you know what? If yours is ‘unknown’, if you have no clear path in front of you then good! The world is your oyster and you have the ability to decide where you go and what you do. That’s right! YOU and ONLY YOU. That is the beauty of it. Slowly… Very very slowly… I am learning to be okay with the ‘unknown’, with not knowing what I am doing and you should too.

I really hope that there is someone out there that this helps/brings comfort to. Sometimes it is nice to know that you are not the only one going through a bit of a rut even if it feels like it.

“If you’re too comfortable, it is time to move on. Terrified of what’s next? You’re on the right track.”

Susan Fales-Hill